The customer is not always right: Addressing bullying and harassment at work

From the shopping malls in Auckland, to the cafes in Wellington, the scene is familiar; a staff member offers a friendly “hello”, only to be met with verbal abuse over a minor delay or a stock shortage. For a long time, the New Zealand hospitality and tourism industries have operated under the quiet pressure of “the customer is always right”, leaving staff to tolerate aggression in the name of good service. If “service with a smile” requires sacrificing psychological safety, the price of interaction has become too high. It is time to stop asking how we can better serve the customer and start asking how we can better protect the server.

WorkSafe NZ defines workplace bullying as “repeated and unreasonable behaviour directed towards a worker or a group of workers that can lead to physical or psychological harm”.

These forms of unreasonable behaviour may include “harassment, offensive or insulting remarks, social exclusion, shouting, or even practical jokes”. It is important to acknowledge that workplace bullying is subjective and can look different for everyone. People’s experiences, personal boundaries and perceptions all influence how certain behaviours are understood and felt. According to WorkSafe NZ, common bullying behaviours fit into two main categories:

• Attacks that are direct and personal, or
• Indirect and task-related.

Any form of bullying and harassment at work is a key psychosocial risk factor as it can directly affect a person’s mental health, sense of safety, dignity and ability to function.

Some psychological and health impacts include:

• Anxiety, stress, depression
• Reduced confidence
• Burnout and emotional exhaustion

Some work and organisational impacts include:

• Reduced performance and engagement
• Increased absenteeism and presenteeism
• Poor workplace culture

In New Zealand, nearly 1,000 hospitality and tourism workers were surveyed over a five-year period. In 2025, 35% of respondents reported experiencing bullying and harassment, a significant increase from 23% the previous year. In addition, 36% reported witnessing such behaviour. Customers were identified as the primary perpetrators, with employees increasingly required to manage physically and verbally abusive behaviour, including intoxicated customers. There was also some bullying and harassment from peers, colleagues and managers.

These conditions explain why 40% of hospitality workers planned to leave their jobs within the next year. While bullying and harassment were significant drivers, low pay (a topic worthy of its own article) and limited career progression also contributed strongly to workers’ intentions to exit the industry.

So, why does this issue matter for employers?

In the same study commissioned by MBIE, many hospitality and tourism workers believed their employers were not doing enough to protect them. This matters because bullying, harassment and customer aggression are not just behavioural issues – they are legally recognised psychosocial hazards under New Zealand health and safety law.

Under New Zealand’s Health and Safety at Work Act 2015, employers have a legal and ethical duty to identify and manage psychosocial risks in the same way they would any other critical risk to health and safety. You may have seen the recent changes introduced through the Health and Safety at Work Amendment Bill, including the removal of some perceived “red tape” for small businesses. Importantly, these changes do not remove an organisation’s duty of care. Businesses are still required to identify and prioritise risks that are most likely to result in serious harm.

The Bill defines “critical risk” as hazards which could lead to death, serious injury, notifiable incidents or occupational disease. Research from New Zealand and legal case studies consistently show that exposure to bullying, harassment, and customer aggression is associated with serious psychological harm, long-term mental health conditions, increased risk of injury and significantly impaired ability to function safely at work.

It also helps to understand why the retail and hospitality sectors are at heightened risk of exposure to these harms. Frontline workers are often required to manage emotionally charged interactions, customer frustration and unreasonable behaviour in fast‑paced, high‑pressure environments. In many workplaces, these workers are supervised by younger or less experienced managers who may not have received adequate training or organisational support to respond effectively to customer aggression or escalating conflict.

When bullying or abusive behaviour, including from customers, is treated as “just part of the job”, it signals a failure to provide a safe system of work. This reflects poor work design, even when the source of harm is external to the organisation. Without clear policies, practical support mechanisms, consistent responses from leadership and industry‑wide expectations that abusive behaviour will not be tolerated, employees are left exposed to preventable psychological harm.

For employers, the consequences extend well beyond compliance. Failing to manage these risks contributes to increased turnover, disengagement, burnout and the loss of experienced staff – all outcomes already affecting these sectors. Protecting workers from psychosocial harm is not only a legal obligation, but a critical factor in sustaining a resilient, capable and committed workforce in an environment where customer frustration and aggression appear to be increasingly common.

What can we do about this?

Bullying and harassment are clear psychosocial and critical risks within the hospitality, retail and tourism sectors, which, if left unaddressed, can have serious impacts on individual wellbeing, team culture, and overall business performance. Understanding how we can actively prevent and respond to these risks is essential for creating safe, healthy and respectful workplaces.

Practical steps for employers:

• “Treat psychosocial harm as a core employment risk”

Explicitly address bullying and harassment within health and safety standards as a key psychosocial hazard. Bullying and harassment should be treated with the same seriousness as physical health and safety risks. This means formally recognising them within health and safety frameworks, policies, risk assessments, and reporting processes, rather than treating them as stand-alone behavioural issues. Organisations should clearly communicate and have visible signage displayed throughout the workplace that bullying, harassment and any form of abuse – whether from colleagues, leaders, customers or members of the public – will not be tolerated.

• Invest in training and building capability

Seventy percent of those in the hospitality and tourism sectors reported they “would like more training”, an increase of 10% since 2024. This highlights a growing recognition that employees need practical skills – not just policies. This may involve “in-the-moment” skills training such as role-plays and realistic scripts that employees can confidently use during work. Training should also cover bystander intervention, managing customer-initiated harassment, and clear guidance on reporting, documentation and escalation processes. Together, these approaches help ensure employees are well equipped to respond to harmful behaviour safely, consistently and early.

• Develop clear escalation and incident response processes

While a considerable amount of work can be done to eliminate and minimise risks, even the best designed workplaces can still be exposed to customer aggression and violence. So, how should frontline workers and managers respond? Organisations need to have plans and procedures in place that keep their employees and other customers safe. Can de-escalation training be offered, to manage hostile customers or high-risk scenarios? Withdrawing from a service may also be a suitable approach in cases where workers no longer feel safe – but they need to know their employer will back them.

• Ensure post-incident responses are in place

Again, while prevention, mitigation and incident response are equally important, organisations should also think about how they will respond after an incident. For example, this might look like organisations ensuring there is clear communication and support options available for workers. This can include support such as EAP services, peer support programmes or organisational support through frequent check-ins with their people.

Practical tips for individuals working in this sector:

While employers carry primary responsibility for managing these risks, individual support strategies can also help workers navigate a challenging environment through ongoing self-care.

• Pay attention to the early signs of burnout

Ongoing fatigue, irritability or a growing sense of dread about shifts may be signs of burnout. Make use of available support, including EAP and other wellbeing services. Maintain connections outside of work – friends, whānau, hobbies, or community activities – that help you rest and reset. Access free wellbeing resources, such as the MSD mental health and wellbeing eLearning programme available for all New Zealanders.  Remember, needing support is not weakness – it’s a response to unhealthy working conditions.

• Recognise what bullying and harassment can look like

Bullying or harassment is not always obvious. Ongoing sarcasm, jokes or “banter” that target you personally, being excluded from team communication/training, being deliberately rostered for unfavourable shifts or denied breaks are all signs. If the behaviour is repeated, unreasonable and affects your safety or wellbeing, it matters – even if it is not being normalised.

Other helpful resources for both employees and employers

WorkSafe NZ provides a range of helpful resources, including Good Practice Guidelines for managing risks, reporting and assessment forms, and tailored advice guides for both workers and employers. The Government Health & Safety Lead also has some great resources such as their Good Practice Guide on Dealing with Customer-initiated Aggression and Violence.

ShopCare and Umbrella Wellbeing have partnered to offer free, psychologist-designed online training modules. These modules support mental health and wellbeing following a violent or aggressive incident at work, with a particular focus on those working in the retail and hospitality sectors.